Bruised

My stomach is swollen, sore and bruised where I had the injection. Really painful, on a day where we were busy. I have to be careful to wear my belt not too tight, and lower than I normally would. There's insecurity for you.

First, we had an interview with the government health insurance mob in Loches (CEPAM). I'm unable to work while I'm incontinent, because my typical working day is about 12 hours, and I would be wet (and potentially a bit smelly) by the end of the day - not nice for our clients. Plus, of course, I have 7 weeks worth of half a day attending to radiotherapy to factor in.

As with all French bureaucracy, once you get into the office and talk to them they're extremely  helpful. We achieved in a 20 minute chat what would have taken 2 days and a lot of swearing whilst using the online portal. We may even get some money.

Then we stopped for coffee at a boulangerie, because why wouldn't you.

We had lunch with friends at the guinguette (think pop up restaurant). I am going out a bit more, but I am making sure when we arrange things that I don't want me and cancer to be the topic of conversation. Anything but that unless I mention it.

The problem is that the following things make me tear up: cancelling a holiday, not getting to Australia to see family, the pain and inconvenience of the operation and treatment, the prospect of more treatment. I don't want to be a morose bastard, or look like I'm needing sympathy.

And I don't want to spend my whole life being "that cancer guy".

In the evening I had my first hot flush. It's a side effect of the injection, and it feels like my brain is melting from the outside in. I hope the next six months isn't going to be like this