What a Bastard

I had a really shit day yesterday.

I went out on Saturday with a friend to an event. If I hadn't organised it on Friday I wouldn't have bothered, because I was tired and disinterested in doing anything.

By the time I got home I was really tired, and the nappy was properly wet, a disgusting feeling. I showered, changed and had dinner and was feeling ok by bedtime, but bladder control had disappeared.

Yesterday I woke up dizzy, with a headache and constant hot flushes. Nothing I could do would shift the headache, and I kept walking into doorframes. Once or twice I thought I was going to fall, and I had the shakes once or twice. I was taking various different painkillers, but in the end I got the headache dulled enough to get to sleep.

I was really bloody miserable and I don't want another day like that.

Hopefully Some Good News

God knows I could do with some.

Had a walk today. 3km without knocking myself out, which is good.

I've just returned from the GP. She had the test results and says that it's not a huge worry. I have two nodes near where my prostate was that are showing as having cancerous cells, but nothing elsewhere. She says that after treatment I should be worry free.

I want to be convinced....

The only other thing she prescribed us a dog. Not on prescription though.

Results

The scintigraph results arrived on Saturday. Susan looked at them, I didn't. I didn't ask about them.

Not a good day

The sun is out, the temperature is nice yet I'm hiding indoors.

I think this is what's called a shit day

A Second Scintigraph

After finding out that removing my prostate didn't get all the cancer the hospital are now doing tests to find where it's hiding.

Yesterday I had a scintigraph at Vinci hospital. Scintigraphy (from Latin scintilla, "spark"), also known as a gamma scan, is a diagnostic test in nuclear medicine, where radioisotopes attached to drugs that travel to a specific organ or tissue (radiopharmaceuticals) are taken internally and the emitted gamma radiation is captured by gamma cameras, which are external detectors that form two-dimensional images in a process similar to the capture of x-ray images. (Wikipedia).

The appointment was scheduled for 13:05. The instructions were to eat nothing within 4 hours, so after a bowl of cereal at 08:30 I stopped eating and drinking. You have to stay still during the test and not drinking anything removed the possibility of needing a wee half way through.

We arrived 10 minutes early and then ha to sit around for about an hour because they had run out of "product" and were awaiting more from the lab. Whether the "product" they were talking about was saline drip or the atomic isotope I don't know.

Anyway... After a long wait I was called into the room, a vein in my arm was found, and the catheter inserted. I was attached to two bags of liquid and left for about 10 minutes. Then the technician reappeared with a metal canister that looked like a high tech - but small - teapot. She hid behind a screen, attached the capsule to my catheter and turned in on using a long stick thing. Remember - she was hiding from it, yet it was going into my arm.

I then had a wait until the product had reached the extremities, and then I was called into the room to be scanned. That involved removing all metal - belt, hairband, and that - but I went further and put on a pair of drawstring shorts. Unnecessary, maybe, but it's uncomfortable enough without clothing adding to the discomfort.

The scan itself takes about 15 minutes, and involved being flat on my back, one hand gripping the other wrist, with my hands above my head. My shoulder was screaming with pain after about a minute, but you can't move. 

I'm not sure quite how I managed, but they seemed happy enough. We left the hospital and went straight to a boulangerie that has a seating area. It may have been 16:46, but I needed lunch.

The results of the scan will be sent to me, but I'm not sure I will look at them. What's the chances I'd understand them?

I do know I'm still not Godzilla 

A Bit of a Prick

This is not about injections, this is about me.

I was a prick yesterday. I was being triggered by every noise, which shot straight through to the middle of my brain. It was accompanied by tinnitus, which means I wasn't nice to be around.

Side Effects

I had a bit of a wobble yesterday - nothing serious, really, just end to end hot flushes. I reckon I could bring a bath full of cold water to the boil in about 10 seconds just by sitting in it.

I'm not sure how I should feel. I don't feel unwell, I've just got no motivation or energy.

A New Appointment

Today Susan had a phone call from the Radiotherapy department of Tours hospital. They've made an appointment for very early October to discuss my continuing treatment.

I thought my radiotherapy was going to be in Poitiers, but Tours is the same distance. Plus we know Tours better, and we know people in Tours. It may be that we can stay with friends the occasional night.

I'm interested by the lack of urgency.

At Last

I think I'm starting to get my bladder under control. 

I'm not having to clench and fast waddle to the toilet every time I stand up, and after 14 hours my nappy has only had to deal with the occasional very small dribble.

I'm having to use a lot of skin repair cream, because even dry nappies chafe.

I haven't had any serious hot flushes today, which is a relief

The end of summer

Our town has an excellent swimming pool that's only open during the summer holidays. I haven't been swimming this year, my operation was before the the pool opened, and lack of bladder control meant I wouldn't have been welcome in the water.

The pool closed at lunchtime today, and I went down to pick Susan up. It was good to see the Maître Nageur, who is a thoroughly nice chap, and others I would normally have been swimming with, but it felt odd. 

I had a couple of hot flushes during the evening. Most unpleasant.

Half Human

A quiet day today - but they have all been quiet. I cooked a huge batch of bean stew in the afternoon. Standing up and peeling onions and tomatoes was bloody tiring. I had a kip on the afternoon.

This evening we joined friends for dinner at a local pop up restaurant. It's only the third time since the operation that we've had an evening meal out. I got home with an almost dry nappy. I managed to be rude and a bit honest about the treatment, but the injection site is still swollen, painful, and bruised.

It was nice to see friends, though.